I'd think that World of Warcraft would be the last place to look for commentary on social justice issues, but I've run into a few quests the past couple of days that bring up a number of issues.

First up is the quest, "Art of Persuasion." In it, the player is asked to "interrogate" a prisoner, since the quest-giver is forbidden from such things by his faction. There's no question what the player is being asked to do when given an item that will cause extreme pain, but no damage. There is also no way to progress the quest line without doing this quest, nor are there ways to complete it without torturing a prisoner. (For the record, while there's a lot I've done in video games, this quest was way over the line, and I dropped it.)

What's really over the line for me is that a player can keep poking the prisoner, after information is supposedly received (or so the write-ups on the quest say). That, and players can get other "neural needles" for free from another NPC in the same area. Yet another instance of the Milgram experiments.

Supporters of the quest will point out that it's no different from the TV show, "24," and the Death Knight opening quest sequence. One, the show "24" isn't accurate in that torture rarely gives accurate information. People will say whatever the hell they think the torturers want to get them to quit. Secondly, in the Death Knight opening quests, the person the player needs to get information from is fighting back the entire time. Plus, the Death Knights in that quest line are supposed to be evil and under the thrall of the Lich King. My gnome warlock who happened upon that quest is supposed to be one of the good guys, and fully in control of herself.

If this quest is supposed to be a critique of the Bush/Cheney policy of "special interrogations," it fails. There's no way to finish the quest without playing along, for one.

But the Netherwing Drake quests in the Outland more than make up for the torture quest. In them, the player happens upon the Netherwing Drake flight in one of the Outland areas and eventually winds up helping free them from slavery in a nuanced fable about human trafficking. The entire quest line walks the player through earning their trust, to infiltrating the faction imprisoning them, working with others trying to free the drakes, and finally breaking the fel Orcs' domination of them.

Never mind that the end of that quest line is one of the coolest ever. It's not every day that you fly off into the sunset on the back of a huge dragon.

Yet another drive-by posting, but this link is too good not to share. It's an article written about Our Lady of Guadalupe. I was thinking to myself how she could possibly speak to a 21st century person. Here's how:

http://jesusindisney.blogspot.com/2008/12/nuestra-senora.html

Courtesy of Maria, who posted about it first.

You know, when conservatives start going off on feminism and how Mary (specifically Our Lady of Guadalupe) wasn't a feminist, I wonder who the heck they're talking about.

She was pregnant and not married in a time when that was a death sentence at the hands of men. She's the first contemplative, when she chose the better part of pondering everything in her heart. (It used to be that Trappists--men and women--would take her name at their professions.) She got Jesus off his ass at Cana, when women just didn't talk to men like that. She was there at the crucifixion and then in the upper room. Sounds like a wonderfully empowered woman, to me. She also has a habit of appearing to children and peasants, not exactly bourgeoisie.

And I just learned that she's got her own book in the Qu'ran. This is pretty cool. I think it would be fun to get a Muslim's opinion on Luke.

(Crossposted from my LJ.)

Kind of a drive-by posting. Haven't had much to say lately, I guess. Found a blog to share:

http://youngwomenandcatholicism.blogspot.com/

Now, when I hear "young women" and "Catholicism" on a blog, I immediately think of what the Catholic barfosphere thinks of the terms. That version of womanhood doesn't remotely describe or speak to my life. I was hesitant, but Sr. Julie of A Nun's Life writes for them, so I thought I'd take a peek. (Since she's cool and has interesting things to say.) Glad I did, because it's nice to be reminded that there are others on the 'Net who're like me.

I was trying to express everything I'm thankful for in my bloggy friends, but I think this video conveys a very special Thanksgiving message to everyone:

Bishops ask for stay of execution. This makes me happy with my archbishop. You don't want to read the comments on it. it surprises me how liberal Seattle can be, except when some undesirable is involved (homeless people, people on death row, etc.)

So this morning the video of Sarah Palin giving an interview with a man slaughtering turkeys in the background made its way through my blog feeds and friend's list. The whole fascination with Joe Six Pack makes me wonder a few things.

1.) When did we stop thinking critically about what people say? Seriously. A lot of people I know just trusted Palin without really thinking about what she was saying or the implications thereof.

2.) When did that kind of everyman appeal become a replacement for moral inscrutability? While the whole Troopergate thing was in the news, it seemed as if it didn't really matter. Either the GOP pulled off the greatest snow-job in the country's history, or people are just sheep.

Then I come across a new blog/website by the people who do Rosary Army by accident. Now in my great internet fast of a month ago, I realized a few things. One, I fill my life with a lot of noise, especially the kind of noise that vehemently disagrees with me and sees my life as morally repugnant. I'm not going to convince those types that I'm just as faithful a Catholic as they am. They don't want to be reminded that the Church is about diversity. But I need to get something off my chest.

Anyway, back to the site. On the surface, it's not something to draw attention to. There are the requisite pictures of family and friends. They go to great pains to portray themselves as normal. And they may very well be. I don't know them personally. But then you get to a "joke" page on their site.

Isn't this the same division they're accusing the rest of us of? It's Yet Another instance of the kind of us-vs-them fundamentalist rhetoric that got us into the war in Iraq, not to mention the underlying cause of division in the Church. I'm sick to death of people in the pews trumping themselves up on how good they are and how the rest of us--some of which who faithfully and prayerfully wrestle with some of the cultural aspects of the Church--are just "Catholics in name only" or "Cafeteria Catholics." I think I have a good sense of humor, but I fail to see it in Loophole Cereal.

Go to any blog lately that bills itself as the least bit Catholic, and you'll find screed after screed about why the other person shouldn't receive the Eucharist. There's all sorts of speculation about the state of anyone else's soul but their own, even if it's the thinly-veiled "satire" of Loophole Cereal.

I got news for them: there's plenty of room at the steam table for everyone, as a friend of mine says, and they pick and choose just as much as the rest of us.

Blogroll got put back. If anyone's having problems with trolls finding your blog because of it, let me know. I had to axe it before, because a particular troll would follow peoples' links, like a virus.

Fear and Loathing in Seattle

I have a bunch of thoughts in my head, and none are too coherent. Hopefully once I've had more coffee, they'll condense into some sort of unified whole.

So last night I was watching the documentary, "Deliver us from Evil." Now when it's merely reporting on the facts and interviewing O'Grady, it's superb. When it starts hypothesizing as to why the sex abuse scandals happened, it starts to fail. When the documentary descends into Moore-like tactics to get two of O'Grady's victims to deliver a letter to the Vatican, it outright fails. Seriously, what did Doyle and the filmmakers expect to happen? If you're interested, it's up on fancast, but it's graphic in parts.

Then last week, this came to light about the Catholic Church's cooperation with the Mormons to pass Proposition 8.

It would seem like the proper response to all of this in some circles is self-loathing. I hate what some people do in the Church's name. I hate how a vocal minority is making things worse for everyone. I also hate how a TV station puts forth its opinions on Catholic teaching as gospel. I hate how the bishops in my country failed us on multiple occasions, not the least of which last week. But I can't bring myself to hate the Church, as would seem to be expected of me in some circles. But if I don't express the proper self-loathing, then I'm lumped in with those who would attend Sarah Palin rallies.

I guess I'm tired of people assuming I'm part of a monolith. Catholics have always been about unity in diversity, and that's still true, no matter what a vocal minority says. I'm willing to bet if I poll the people who read my blog regularly, there would be as diverse a collection of opinions here as anywhere else in the US. I'm also tired of people mistaking Roman law for anglo-saxon law. Being Catholic has never been about absolutism, but navigating a living tradition.

I wonder if it's a good thing that we can hear instant opinions from anyone about any subject matter. For instance, were my bishop to post that he likes Code Red Mountain Dew, we could hear about it instantly. He could even come on record saying he thinks all Catholics should drink Code Red Mountain Dew. But would it make it Church teaching? Nope, yet some are willing to elevate everything a bishop, cardinal, or Pope says as having the same moral weight. It's nice to know that the other side of this mess picks and chooses as much (if not more) as I do.

So I'm reaching my critical mass for stupidity: both regarding the elections in the US and about certain news of a show I obsessively watch. I'm not sure what annoys me more: people who insist that Catholics can't vote any other way but Republican, or those who insist that Doctor Who jumped the shark when Christopher Eccleston left the show. So long as I don't get anyone telling me that Catholics can't possibly like any other companion besides Rose, it's all good. But if something interesting happens in blogdom at large, let me know. I'm still reading my regular blogs, but I'm shutting off the feeds for everything else until the batshit cools down a bit.

5 minute chocolate mug cake

Again putting this here so I remember it.

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using)
and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3
minutes at 1000 watts. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but
don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if
desired.

It's tasty. I just made some, but I couldn't wait for it to cool. It definitely becomes more cake-like if you let it sit.

Where I stand

Hi. Sorry, I've been absent, but the Hoopy Frood and I have been playing World of Warcraft lately. The family that slays together...(level 61 gnome warlock, Misha, if you're interested.)

So I've been hearing people say how lonely they feel on the blogosphere, and how their opinions may not be shared. This is probably the only time I'm going to mention some of the topics, here, and I do so out of solidarity for those who're feeling kind of lonely right now. (As we approach election season in the US and those who think you can't be a good Catholic and vote a certain way start shrieking louder. As an aside, I heard a good term for those: they're the Catholic "barfosphere.")

1.) I've yet to hear a compelling reason why people of the same sex shouldn't marry. I've tried understanding the arguments, but at the end of the day, the fact that two men or two women love each other and want to make the same commitment the Frood and I do to each other doesn't impact us in any way, shape or form. If anything, I'd think other couples in a sacramental kind of love would strengthen us.

And while we're at it, I really hate the "sacramental" or "non-sacramental" designation of marriages. Unless the Frood gets baptized, ours won't ever be a sacramental marriage. You know what? After he flew out to help me with Phase 1 of the bedbug invasion, I'm convinced beyond belief that our relationship is a sacrament. Here I am, getting all filled up over it, but that's when I realized what we've got, when we were ass-deep in bedbugs, getting bitten every night, and literally going through hell. Nobody can convince me otherwise, either. (And the whole fairytale wedding BS pales in comparison to him cleaning under my desk, so I could've gone to Mass.) Bah, I'm all verklempt now.

2.) If you call yourself pro-life and think the death penalty is a good idea and think torture is ever acceptable, just go pound sand.

3.) In the same manner, if you protest or pray at abortion clinics and ignore people begging for spare change nearby, there's a big pile of sand for you to go pound, too. The 40 Days for Life people are active at praying at a local Planned Parenthood, but Nickelsville is a matter of blocks away from them. If they really thought all life was sacred, they'd be pissed as hell that people have to live in tents in the middle of our city. Not to mention that the same group of people has been harassed, intimidated, and threatened.

4.) I think ordaining women in the RCC right now would be a spectacularly bad idea. We need to get everyone on board with the idea that women can contribute to the Church, and all women need to be on the same parity. What do you think would happen to a woman in an area of the world that routinely kills women for "honor" would do, if she proclaimed the Gospel? In the wake of Theology of the Body, I don't see women being ordained in my lifetime.

5.) Along with that, I think that people putting women in their special place of motherhood is ghettoizing them. Yes, I think some are called to be mothers, but some aren't. (Although truth be told, this is something you find in mainstream society, as well.)

6.) Every time I hear the term "culture war," I want to be sick. Look, Albigensianism went out of fashion in the 13th century. Yeah, there's a lot of ugly stuff out there, but people are so obsessed with it, they're missing the beautiful things, as well.

I'm Jen, and I approve this message.

"Did they beat the drum slowly..."

So a post on Waylon Jennings on William's blog got me thinking about the link between folk music and older forms of country. I think it was the Lomaxes, who discovered that pure strains of European folk music can be found in Appalachia, possibly purer forms of the same songs sung in Europe. (it was in the Journal of Ethnomusicology...I had the article, but it's still packed away somewhere.)

Anyway, my nieces referenced a song done by Johnny Cash. Now, I'm not a huge fan of country, and my nieces don't care for older country. (They prefer the newer stuff, where I can actually listen to the older stuff.) So I took a listen to it:



And it sounded really familiar. The melodic contour is very similar to this one, a song done by the Dropkick Murphys:



Right before the chorus ("Did they beat the drum slowly"), you can hear how the melody still follows the contours of "Streets of Laredo." When "Streets of Laredo" has the same lyrics as "No Man's Land," the two are almost identical.

Here is a version of "Streets of Laredo" that's even closer melodically to "No Man's Land." This version is closer to "The Unfortunate Rake," an earlier ballad, than "Streets of Laredo."

"No Man's Land" was composed in 1976 by Eric Bogle. Here's another version of it, done by the Fureys.



Then I started doing a bit of research on the two songs. Turns out that "Streets of Laredo" is sung to the same tune as an early 18th century Irish ballad, "The Bard of Armagh."



It turns out that "The Bard of Armagh" got recycled into the 19th century song, "The Unfortunate Rake." Ta-da! Eventually it changed from ballad form to the verse-chorus-verse form and got a bit more complex melodically. And guess what? "The Unfortunate Rake" becomes "St. James Infirmary Blues," when it goes to New Orleans.

Very rare political post from me. First, Keith Olbermann on Sarah Palin:



Next up, McCain's racisim:



Don't believe one guy? Read it for yourself in McCain's own account here.

Chicken and stuffing scratch space

Crockpot recipe I'm making tonight. It's really good, but I'm putting it here, because I can never remember where I found it:

24 baby carrots, sliced lengthwise (Yeah, I don't bother, because they turn to mush. I like carrots with substance.)
24 tiny whole potatoes
1 1/2 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut bite size (Don't bother cutting up the chicken, because it only falls apart anyway)
10 ounces can cream of chicken soup
2 cups frozen peas (Gross. I don't do peas. Broccoli works well.)
1/2 cup hot water
2 tablespoons butter
6 1/4 ounces stove top stuffing package (I use the cornmeal one)

Directions:
Place carrots, then potatoes in bottom of crock. Layer chicken over potatoes.
Whisk soup in small bowl. add peas to soup. Stir gently. Spoon over chicken.
Stir hot water and butter in bowl to melt butter. Add stuffing. Stir; spoon over chicken mixture.
Cook on low 8-9 hours or high 4-4 1/2 hours.

This one goes out to Rev. Mommy:

And we're baaack!

I'm all moved in to the new place, and I'm liking it. If you'd like to see pictures, go here. (Think they're all captioned.) DSL got hooked up yesterday, so I'm back on the 'net.

On the one hand, I can't really do without internet. Too much of what I do requires email communication--emails are sent to my chair, my work communicates via email, and Steve and I use internet-based methods of communication a lot. (Plus we play games online with each other. I'm now playing a warlock in WoW.)

On the other hand, I think my internet fast was good for me. Now, I'm by no means a Carmelite in terms of asceticism. I'm attracted to the Trappists and Camaldolese, but I also realize that I (as a lay person) have different needs than they do. Knowing that I need certain things isn't pride. If anything, it can be a discipline in itself to use responsibly the things one has. (I believe this is a point Chittister makes in her commentary on the Rule of St. Benedict, which is still packed up.) For instance, I could've done without a good computer desk, but the one I have makes life so much easier, with as much work on the computer as I do. (I could really use a better chair, though. Ergonomics aren't negotiable.)

But as the week without regular 'net access went on, it became obvious to me that I was using the internet at home to fill my life with noise. Suddenly I had to be more organized, so I'd have time to head to a coffee house to check email first thing in the morning. I had time for the Divine Office because I didn't have the 'net to distract me. And I recovered some of the silence that had been missing from my life over the summer.

But I'm glad I've got the 'net back. It's cheaper to make coffee in the new kitcheny area and surf, for one. For the other, the Hoopy Frood and I need some sort of online communication, otherwise the phone bills get onerous. (for instance, I had almost 800 minutes on my phone at the start of the Great Internet Fast. At the end of it, I have 200 left.)

I keep thinking, though: Do I really need a nice place to live and DSL that's at T1 speeds? Sure, I could--and did--make do with a place that wasn't the greatest and with slower broadband, but after upgrading both places, I wished I'd moved and gotten faster DSL sooner. I mean, now, I can watch a YouTube video without it stuttering or loading all the way. (YouTube videos aren't necessary for life, but they're relatively small--it should give you an example of how slow my old DSL was.) New furniture--a bed, a desk, and a chair--wasn't optional. One good way of bringing bedbugs with you is to move furniture. Plus, the stuff I had was stuff that was hand-me-downs or garbage picked. I've since learned that's a great way to get bedbugs, as well.

As an aside, I so wouldn't wish bedbugs on anyone. Cockroaches, if you have them and don't live somewhere tropical, it's generally something you did or didn't do. Bedbugs? They're just an act of God. You get them, it's nothing you did or didn't do. they're pure chaos.

Sure, I could make do with less--we all can--but the things I have are concessions to make life a bit easier. I think what separates Benedictines from other orders is the attention to the ordinary. Caring for the tools you have is as much a sacred thing as caring for things used in the Mass, for instance. Your everyday work is a form of prayer. But what I think differentiates this from other organizations (say Opus Dei) is that it should be "nothing harsh or burdeonsome." That is, it should be something to give the stronger something to strive for and the weaker nothing to run from. (Paraphrasing a line from the chapter on the qualities of the abbot, since my copy of the Rule of St. Benedict is also packed.)

The Benedictine notion of asceticism isn't asceticism for the sake of punishing one's self, but for making it so that a person appreciates the things he/she has. (Merton makes this point in New Seeds of Contemplation. That book is also still packed.) Right now, I could use some coffee.

Hello. I'm alive. Big move just happened (I have awesome friends), and I have no internet at my house just yet. Blogging will return shortly.

Statement of Purpose

Word Count: 767
Summary: In which I opine over the similarities and differences between composing new music ("classical," if that word means anything anymore) and writing fanfic and their respective fandoms.
Warnings: Non-fiction, mention made to various academics in music and critical theory. This one isn't fiction, unless it's some strange Borgesian sense of the word.
Rating: All ages
Characters: a composer, a fanfic writer, and their fandoms.
Genre: Gen, meta
Author's note: This is what happens when I'm short on sleep and long on worry.
Disclaimer: Did I mention I haven't slept much the past few days?

My dirty little secret is out. I write fanfic, primarily for my own enjoyment. There could be some loose end in an episode that I want to explore or something I'd do differently. (Like bringing the Time Lords back.) There could be some scene-behind-the-scenes that needs poking into. And I could just need a Doctor Who fix.

Milton Babbitt, a composer, wrote a fairly famous essay that's been often misconstrued and misread. Originally published in 1958, it had the unfortunate title of "Who Cares if You Listen?" (It was an editorial choice made for him, not the one he wanted...or so I've been told by a couple of people who know the guy. Babbitt's on my short list of people I'd like to have a beer with.) But the upshot of his article is that the public isn't always the best judge of what a given work of art should be. In a sense, the composer needs some sort of solitude in which to work, otherwise he/she just winds up aping what's popular. Babbitt's article is much more nuanced and specific to composition than I'm summarizing. (It's well worth a read, just to see what he wrote, not what other people think he wrote.) Other theorists/composers I admire have elucidated other opinions. (Like Benjamin Boretz and friends talking about how composers write out of some deep need.) See also: Fredric Jameson's discussion on the parable of the oarsmen in his book on late Marxism.

I'm a fairly postmodernist girl, though, and I recognize that there's a place for pop. If that's your thing, cool, and I'll support you 100%. I most certainly wouldn't put my fic in the same creative output as I'd put my compositions, for instance. The two genres don't remotely occupy the same space in my brain or the same need. But I'd definitely argue that my fic does fill some sort of need. It's fun, for one. It's also a good way to relax, because I'm not concerned with my writing or creative output as I am with academic writing or with my compositions. Writing fic is a good way to cure creative constipation, of which, I've had quite a bit this summer.

And then you get fandoms. Doctor Who fic writers have their fans, and so do composers. Both fandoms get quite nasty. They'll spew a whole lot of vitriol in the guise of "concrit," which has very little to do with your work and everything to do with their own personal vision of your work. Now, I think personal visions are important--that's what keeps us writing, whether it's fic or music. But personal visions can conflict with others. What we learn in composition classes is how to either put that personal vision aside, or how to let it inform how we see other people's works. In theory. Fanbois and Fangirls in composition can be just as nasty--if not nastier--than in fanfic.

Now, note that I used the term "concrit." I'm not talking about constructive criticism. Good constructive criticism (paraphrased from a former composition teacher of mine, who was quoting Morton Feldman) answers two questions: Did the author know what he/she wanted? Did the author get it? Concrit's question, however, is: How does this diverge from my fanon? If it does in the slightest, then it's wrong. (Fanon, for the non-fic writers out there, is "fan canon," or canon that's created to fill gaps in the original canon. It's arguable if Doctor Who has a canon, at all. Not to be confused with the postcolonial writer.)

And a word about technique. It's one of the tangible ways of judging whether or not a piece achieves what it sets out to do and whether or not it's consistent with its own rules. (Then again, a piece of music could be about rule-breaking. In that case, it's important to judge how well the piece breaks its own rules.) Then again, a person might get good fanfic reviews for inventive craft in writing. Particularly deplorable grammar will most probably get mentioned in reviews, unless the author's fanon matches the reviewer's. In the same manner, composers will often get blasted for poor craft.

But good craft, alone, isn't the key to writing good music or good fic. There are a host of composers with good craft that never see the light of day. Writing good prose isn't the secret to writing good fiction, either. (I'm still figuring out what it is to write good fiction. Likewise, I'm still learning about writing good music. Both are life-long processes.)

Sorry about the last link. Here's the correct one:

http://linuxlock.blogspot.com/2008/09/wasted-on-idiot.html

May have to suddenly move places. Don't want to get into it (and the other things that've gone wrong this summer) where particular trolls can use it against me. If you want details, email me. Anyway, if I drop off the face of the earth, it's probably because I'm waiting for my DSL to be hooked up.

Prayers appreciated. Hate asking for them, when there are so many who're worse off.

Drive-by posting from me, but I thought this was too good to pass up sharing:

http://linuxlock.blogspot.com/2008/09/wasted-on-idiot.html

Is anyone else bothered by the anti-intellectual slant in the RCC these days? For instance, in the community on livejournal that everyone loves to hate, someone brought up the fact that the extraordinary rite was more theologically rich than the "novus ordo." (Funny how they can't bring themselves to use the term "ordinary rite.") What they really mean by this is, "I'm more refined than you felt banner-loving savages."

I guess what I'm bothered by is the anti-intellectual slant, unless it serves them. Then they bill themselves as intellectuals, when their reading is primarily of apologetics published before 1960 and Chesterton. They wouldn't dream of reading anyone who offends their delicate Catholic sensibilities. They decry the political bias of the university system, yet don't bother to see that they're just as biased as any professor. (Come to think of it, but my chair--who's one of those liberal professors from the 1970's--is a hell of a lot more tolerant of others than I am.)

Do I search out deliberately anti-Catholic stuff? No, but I've taken plenty of philosophy and critical theory courses. I've read plenty of books that would be banned by Opus Dei. I don't agree with everything I've read, and somewhere along the line people confuse appreciating an argument with agreeing with it.

I get the same thing with music all the time. For instance, I can't stand Enya. I think it's vapid trash. My opinions, however, shouldn't matter because I'm sure people will find some music they think is horrible that I absolutely love. Yet somehow people think that just because I'm getting an advanced degree in music that my opinions may matter more than someone else's. Sure, I may be able to articulate why I think Enya is garbage, but in the end I'm not out to convert anyone. I'm only trying to justify why I think the way I do and communicate what my experience is.

Likewise, I think people are disagreeing about aesthetics in liturgy. What our friend in that community is really saying is, "I don't get a high off of the ordinary rite." That's a perfectly valid statement to make, but where he goes over the line is saying that we all should have that experience, if we want to be as theologically sophisticated as he is.



Apologies to those who've seen this twice.

Yah, we'll take him.

So I'm still too wiped out to come up with something huge, and my brain isn't working well in the heat. But I found this take on Batman's religion. Interesting, if you're into obsessive analysis of fanwank. Their support is kind of weak, IMO, but it's something fun to read in air conditioning. And, hell, I'll always take cool Catholic characters. (Although considering the status of the Wayne family, I'd be more inclined to think they were Episcopalian.)

The Hoopy Frood and I saw "Dark Knight" last week and "Batman Begins" yesterday. I didn't expect to actually like "Dark Knight" at all, especially not after seeing it twice. (Once by myself when it came out and once with the Frood.) I'm really not a huge fan of superhero movies, namely because they always portray the superhero's love interest as this weeping princess to be rescued. (Why I hated the Spiderman movie with a passion.) I did like the fact that the token love interest (Rachael) was able to take care of herself in both movies.

So the Frood and I are ready to go a day early. What do we win? While there's nothing in my place, I sure wouldn't want to wish this on anyone. The uncertainty and phantom bug crawlies are worse than anything...

The Hoopy Frood and I have discovered that a better pre-Cana or Engaged Encounter marriage preparation program would entail locking the engaged couple in an apartment building with bedbugs. If they survive a week, they can get married. I'm thinking it would either be a good marriage prep program or new reality TV show. Or both. Pre-Cana is expensive as hell to the broke ass grad student types, and a little corporate sponsorship would go a long way.

That's one of the big reasons I've been so scarce lately. We're cleaning the everliving hell out of my place. *sigh* Neither of us have gotten bitten yet, but we're not taking any chances, either. Landlord knows and is on top of it. Past few weeks have been a nightmare, though.

Edit: They're taking care of bugs Monday. I will say something for my landlord/manager: they take care of catastrophes.

PSA

Catholics, this is a ciborium. It's used to reserve already-consecrated hosts left over from other Masses. Sometimes people will give out hosts directly from it.



Please do not try to drink from the ciborium. You won't like the result much.

Does anyone know anything about the TFP or these people? They look like your garden-variety right wing nutjob. I saw them mentioned in an article over on Vox Nova this morning. Before this morning, I can't say I knew anything about them. After digging a bit, I'm not sure I do. I think it's telling that the people who defended them never offered an apology for what happened to the woman in the article discussed on Vox Nova. Now, if someone of any group I belonged to (grad students, gamers, Benedictine oblates) hurt someone else, I think I'd apologize and make it known that the people who hurt another didn't speak for everyone.

Is anyone else creeped out by the proliferation of right wing groups like that out there? (TFP, Opus Dei, Legionaries of Christ.)

a p.s.

p.s. Tip #5: if you're single and male and don't want to be single? Learn to knit. Seriously. Good way to be a babe magnet, because the cool women won't give you grief about knitting and will actually encourage you. If you're not into women, well, we have gay friends.

This is actually David Demchuk's tip.

Dating do's and don't's for the single Catholic.

Okay, this one's culled from experience. Painful experiences dating.

1.) If you don't believe in the whole dating thing? Don't ask a woman out to dinner. No, this happened to me. I was at CalArts, and a guy there (also a practicing Catholic) and I hit it off. We were friends, and he asked me to dinner. I said what the hey and went. While there, we got talking about the whole grad school application thing. I'd gotten accepted to my school, and he hadn't gotten an acceptance letter yet. He proceeds to tell me that I should withdraw, because I won't need to go on to grad school when I start having his children. I ask him to clarify, thinking I didn't hear him properly. He mentioned that he only dates people he's interested in marrying. Check please.

I think the underlying problem, here, is that there is a segment of the population who doesn't view women as people. That is, they don't think that they should have dreams, ambitions, and goals like everyone else. If a woman is happy with a traditional role? Mazel tov, and I'll fight to the death for her right to be happy in that life. Me? It's not the best use of my gifts and talents. It also makes me wonder what kind of attitude that sort of a man would have towards his wife, should she not wind up being as perfect as he hoped.

2.) Don't belittle your SO, then wonder why he/she won't sleep with you. Come on, people, this is a no-brainer. For instance I just read on a forum where a man is denigrating his wife, shaming her publicly for getting a tubal, then wonders why she won't touch him. God, I have no freaking idea. I mean, wouldn't you really want to sleep with someone like that?

3.) Missionary dating rarely works. I think why the Hoopy Frood and I have gotten on so well is that we aren't out to convert the other. Seriously, if the whole different religion thing won't work out for you, it's probably better to break up than expect your partner to convert.

There will be differences. Every couple has them, it's just a matter of how you deal with them. Some differences are deal-breakers. (I wouldn't ever be happy dating someone who's fundamentalist in their beliefs.) Others aren't. (I can deal with the Hoopy Frood not being Catholic.)

4.) If someone creeps you out, don't feel obligated to be nice to him/her. I'm talking people who aren't weird, but raise your danger sense. I think far too often women (especially) are socialized to be nice all the time, which means being a doormat for those who prey on such people. Stand your ground, make a boundary, stick with it, and be loaded for bear (metaphorically speaking), if that doesn't work. People get killed for thinking they have to be nice to everyone. I think The Gift of Fear should be required reading for most people.

Drive-by posting, here. My life's chaotic (to say the least) with a bunch of things I don't have the time or headspace to deal with at the moment. But I found this response a friend from Livejournal wrote about the whole Cook/Meyers shindig. She's got an interesting take on the whole thing that's well worth reading.

Be the ball...

Okay, not that scene, per se, but I think we could all use some Bill Murray right about now.

Reading about things such as this? Does not make me want to finish my dissertation. I really don't get the hate people have towards the Eucharist. I mean, I don't go out of my way to kick Mormon missionaries and tie-dye their special undergarments. I've defended academe against the likes of the "lace and biretta brigade," as Jeff puts it, but things like what Meyer and Cook are doing aren't making it easy.

Here's hoping the criminal masterminds nieces don't read my blog...

So the two oldest are getting to an age where I thought something more adult would be cool to have. So I'm knitting them something lacy, namely scarves. This one is for Niece #2, who's a bit of a tomboy and likes greens/blues/turquoises:



Specifically it's the seascape wrap from knitty in a handpainted tencel laceweight yarn from Yarntopia Treasures. My stitch markers are from Office Max. (Don't laugh, they work great, and if I lose them, five bucks later, I've got 500 more.) I'm really loving the tencel yarn. I don't think it's going to need as much blocking as the silk or alpaca/merino lace yarns. (Which is good for the niece units, since I don't think they really want to take the time to pin out their things after washing them.) It's also great to work with in the summer, while another thing I've got going in baby alpaca wool is HOT. You wouldn't think yarn the thickness of fine crochet thread would be warm, but it is...

This is going to be another very rare political post from me. I need to get something out of my system. In short, a lot of Catholics on the internet are a bunch of freaks, and not in the good way.

http://rosaryarmy.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=9340

And I quote the post verbatim, since i believe one has to register. My comments are in brackets.

...because of my well known political leanings, many might take this as a personal attack on Sen Obama. I mean no such personal attack. [Oh bullshit. The whole post is one big personal attack. See also my comment at the end, that it's OK for "favorites" to post whatever they like.] I'm also not part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy(tm) or the Republican Attack Machine(R). [But he admits to having "well known political leanings," which are almost always right of center.]

As a military officer, I attempt to be as apolitical as humanly possible.[Which he most certainly isn't on the forums.]

The reason I am posting this is because I found it might be a piece of the puzzle about who this man is (and if you believe the polls, already elected), and what he believes, and wanted some other opinions. What he believes in important, because Sen Obama makes decisions based in his worldview and mindset, and presumably his faith.[So? I have a Buddhist mala a friend gave to me that was blessed by a lama. It doesn't mean that I'm suddenly Buddhist. It means that I have a friend, who knows I have an active prayer life and gave me a precious--to her--gift.]

Sen Obama has professed his Christian confession on multiple occasions, and I take him at his word...however, judging by his stance on the life issues and then little items like this...well, lets just say that I'm curious as to how a Christian might reconcile his/her faith with carrying a Hindu idol in his pocket (if not voting against the Born Alive Infant Act).[Yeah, and not every Christian believes what the Rosary Army holds to be gospel, thank God. And there could be a number of reasons why a politician would vote against that act, especially with the Bush administration's fondness for sneaking in pork.]

NRIs back Obama, thanks to Hanuman

WASHINGTON: The support of the Indian Americans to presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama is steadily rising , thanks to his lucky charm Lord Hanuman, suggests a leading American daily.

REQUEST: please don't flame Sen Obama. He's a United States Senator, and his office deserves respect...[Unlike what the poster has shown.]I request you restrict any and all comments to the issue (mixing religious symbols), and how this particular thing might give a window into the worldview of the man, and not the man personally. [Gasp. I clutch at my pearls that a person would actually show some sort of religious tolerance.]

So...Harmless? Superstitious? [I call bullshit on the original poster.]

First off, the original poster is flatly endorsing a political candidate, and has been for a very long time. Secondly, having something doesn't mean belief in it. But if the original poster could see past his bias long enough to actually google Hanuman, he'd find that Hanuman epitomizes the essence of love and devotion. Yeah, that's a bad quality for a candidate to have. Third, I'm sure it was given to him by someone who sincerely believed he/she was doing something good by giving him that charm. I don't believe in the Hindu pantheon, but it's no different, were I to give a Hindu friend a rosary. (I've made rosaries out of Buddhist malas--a bunch were being sold in a bead store, and it felt wrong that objects once used for prayer would be sold as overpriced baubles. So I bought as many as I could to make rosaries out of, so they'd still be used for prayer.)

OK, we get it. The poster on the forum won't vote for Obama because of his voting record. Fair enough, and I can respect that reason. But to bring a good luck charm into it? Like Catholics don't do the same with various saints medals, miraculous medals, and scapulars? Come on and give me a flipping break. The whole thing reeks of a petty attack.

I wonder if part of the reason why people (read: some white, right-wing males) are so threatened by Obama as a candidate is because they're afraid to give up the white male privilege they've enjoyed for so long. I'd post all of this there, but I'm sure it would disappear, since the person making the post is one of the "favorites." Such people can do no wrong, and anyone who dares question them get censored.

Pair of really great posts about how not to talk to Catholics about religion, if you're from an evangelical tradition.

6 Tips on How Not to Witness to Christians
How not to Witness, Part 2

No clue what was up with commenting earlier. Seems to be back now.

So lately I've been trying to sort out what it means to be a contemplative. I think one of the things I keep running into is the rather Puritan/Protestant notion that one has to always be doing something. What good are the folks, who spend most of their days in some sort of community, dedicating most of their lives to prayer? Why do we need them, anyway?

In A Right to be Merry, Mother Francis discusses how contemplatives are really the backbone of the Church. (I'm holed up in a library on campus because it's air conditioned, so I don't have the reference handy.) She also discusses how they're usually the first under attack by enemies of the Church. Now, I'm not one to pull a Bill Donohue and claim injustice from everywhere, but there are people out there who, for whatever reason, do want to see the Church destroyed. (From both within and without.) Evil does exist, although humans are all too willing to do Screwtape's job for him.

So, yeah, I'm not out there working in soup kitchens or shelters. You won't ever see me out there protesting at a Planned Parenthood, either (for a number of reasons). It's not because I don't think social justice or pro-life issues are important, but it's because that's not where I'm called to be. No matter how I throw myself at those issues, no matter what I do, it isn't enough.

Contemplatives deeply care about other people and their issues, but we recognize that no matter how we throw ourselves at those problems, we aren't called to active ministry. Our lives are primarily one of witness, and by that I mean a a kind of sacred attention. We need to be alone with the Divine, and it isn't selfish longing. It's where our gifts are, and where we are called. It's only through union with the Divine that we can reach out to others.

So Aloysha from Cascadia Catholics forwarded around the following link from the USCCB. It's a study guide from them about torture. Also, this Wednesday and next Wednesday at my parish is a discussion on consequentialism and torture at my parish. I'm going, come hell or high water, on Wednesday, so I'll probably post what I can remember. (I hope they record it.)

Not a slight against anyone, but my link list went the way of the dodo, while I bugfix something.

My blog bookmark list/feed got hosed, so I had to delete it and recreate it. If you don't see me stop by your blog, give me a poke.

I love my friends. One of them just sent me this picture:

Breaking news: Just found this blog. It's starting out, but has the potential to be very, very cool, especially if you're into new music.

And now for something entirely different:



Some highlights: You can see the Pittsburgh goalie scoot the puck into the goal with his behind. I was embarrassed for the guy, honestly. The save by the Detroit goalie in the last 5 seconds of the game was the best save I've ever seen. (Which, given my relative newness to the game isn't much, but it's worth a watch just for that.)

So Sr. Julie over at A Nun's Life mentioned a blog she'd found, Notes from Stillsong Hermitage. Sr. Laurel is a diocesan hermit according to the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition. And reading her blog, I wonder where she was a few years ago. That, and I'm thankful for the internet, because not long ago, she and I probably wouldn't have crossed paths, even virtually.

I'm quickly getting into what Sr. Susan calls the "unbloggables," here, but I found myself nodding along in agreement to just about everything on her blog that I've read, but also this post. I realize that the call to prayer, communion, and witness is something everyone is called to, but it's different. I'm not sure I'm quite able to articulate it, but there's a hole, of sorts, that only God can fill.

No matter what I try to stuff at it, that hole is still there. The community I had at CalArts couldn't do it. My parish can't. Even the Hoopy Frood, who I'd never give up in a zillion years, can't fill it. To expect them to fit that hole is a kind of pride--it sets them up in a role they can't ever fulfill. It demands more out of them that they're humanly able to give.

I think that little life lesson came into clear focus here, during my doctorate. I don't have the same kind of relationships, here, that I had at CalArts. It's nobody's failing--it's just life. The kind of community I had at CalArts is nonexistent here, and I can't look to others for validation of what I do, since part of the process of getting a doctorate is being able to work independently. It's a scary position to be in: on the one hand, it's easy to forget your own failings. On the other hand, it's too easy to focus on every little flaw.

I spent so much time fighting against the solitude I found myself in, but what if this is where I'm supposed to be?

So a few weeks back, a friend gave me a present of two skeins of yarn. I started knitting them up into a scarf-like item. Now when dealing with hand-painted yarns and variegated yarns, they sometimes group themselves into colors, called pooling. While sometimes it can be a cool effect, a lot of the time it isn't. However, I kind of like what the colors are doing on this:



Happy accident, and I hope I'm able to match it up on the second skein.

I tend to keep the memes on my livejournal, but this one's pretty interesting and ongoing for another two days. Every day, you post six pictures that represent your life. Monday and Tuesday were similar, so I didn't take any on Tuesday. Wednesday I was at work, and the rhododendrons were blooming, so there were more. Today I had a field trip to an Asian grocery to make my lunch tomorrow. And so on. It's been an interesting kind of meditation. Here's a few samples.


My church.


My long-suffering mini papyrus plant. I say, "long-suffering," because I forget to water it, and it needs to be kept in standing water.


Rhododendrons for the win. Or: so that's why I'm sneezing.


Taken on the bus to downtown, looking out towards Lake Union from the University Bridge.


That's new to the International District. I like my city.


Space Needle! If you magnify it, you can see it better. Taken from the same bus as before.

If you want to see the rest of them, they're in my album here.

I found two posts, both excellent, written by the mother of a daughter with autism about the Adam Race story. She makes a number of points, ones I hadn't considered not being a parent.

http://simplycatholic.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/about-carol-race-from-someone-who-knows-her/

http://simplycatholic.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/i-cant-discipline-him-out-of-his-autism/

I can't help but feel for the parents, but after reading her blog posts, I think the parish made the right decision, as hard as it was.

Wow, this one's hard. I found this link from a friend on LJ. Briefly, a priest has to get a restraining order on a family at his parish, because the family's autistic son was disruptive and threatening to the other people.

Now, we aren't talking about minor disruptions and stimulating behaviors, here. We're talking about a 6-foot, 225 pound teen pulling a little girl onto his lap, starting other peoples' cars, knocks people over, spits, and urinates. (Who leaves their car keys in their cars? Maybe I've been living in the city too long.) Lest I sound like the evil childfree person, I can't help but feel for the family, as well. I can only imagine what it's like to raise a special-needs child, and they do need a place to worship. Although it does sound like the parish tried to work with the family.

If you were the pastor, what would you do? If you were the family, what would you do?

I don't think I would've done anything differently, were I the pastor. Perhaps if I were the mom, I'd take turns attending Mass, or get someone as a caregiver to watch the son during Mass, because it sounds like the family needs some extra help. (Or perhaps find a lower-key Mass that we could all attend that wouldn't set off my hypothetical son so badly.)

Rare political post from me. This is the definition of pwned.

Sometimes I really dig being Catholic, especially when the Vatican astronomer comes on record saying that aliens wouldn't contradict the faith, and that they'd be as much a part of creation as we are. I also like the comment he made about how original sin may not be an issue for them, but if it is that they'd be included in salvation, as well. As a matter of fact, there's a branch of theology, called exotheology, that deals with the issue of aliens and theology.

These are things I've been thinking about a lot, actually. For instance, do aliens need to be baptized, or is original sin only a human thing? (I could see the Orthodox arguing that original sin is only a human thing.) I tend to think that if they're able to choose between right and wrong, they're able to sin, so they'd need some sort of grace, like the rest of us. (I'd think it would be easier for an alien to convert to Orthodoxy, since they're not as hung up on original sin as Catholics are.)

Here's another one. Suppose a race of aliens has a device (like the chameleon arch in Doctor Who) that would change their biology so that they're human. They'd have no memory of being anything other than human. Assume changed alien as a human finds Jesus and gets him/herself baptized. Then when the alien changes back into an alien, would the baptism be valid? (Assuming proper form.)

You know, Seattle is generally a cool place to live. It doesn't ever get too hot or too cold, but I do get sick of the twentysomething snark, especially out of some psuedo-liberals.

Now, I take the bus. I don't drive, so if I have to get from one place to another and it's too far to walk, I take the bus. And, yeah, sometimes it really sucks. I wonder if Bus Chick isn't either on some serious medication, getting kickbacks from the Metro, or some combination of the two, because she makes it sound like some great, grand social experiment. The buses are often late, overcrowded, or don't show up at all. Chicago and Boston, hell even LA, were better than Seattle. Grocery shopping on a Seattle bus is a nightmare.

On the other hand, this is the kind of thing I'm getting rather tired of. Maybe I'm getting old, but I don't see what's so funny or witty about that kind of post anymore. It's sociopathic in its disregard for humanity. And, yeah, I know all about having to sit near obviously schizophrenic people. You quickly learn what routes to avoid wearing open shoes on, as well.

Is it just me, or is this kind of attitude getting more common?

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Did I wake up and wind up in bizzaro land this morning?

Item the first: Darwin in cahoots with the Nazis. (Did you just yell "GODWIN'S LAW, BEYOTCH?" I sure did.) I think one can be skeptical of a scientific theory--that's what a theory is, after all, but I don't get the certainty by which people push intelligent design. If it's science, then it should be able to withstand the tests and rigors any scientific theory does, something ID supporters decry Darwin has never been subjected to. Since when was it a sign of being a Good Catholic^tm to reject science? I'm hearing this crop up more than I'd like--there was a dig against evolution in a homily this weekend. Since when did a Good Catholic have to be a Jesus Camp follower?

Item the second: vaccination. Did the Vatican come out and say that we shouldn't vaccinate our children when I wasn't looking? OK, I can see their point about chickenpox, flu, and hepatitis vaccines. I can even understand delaying them. But not vaccinating against polio, rubella, and the really horrible diseases that are almost always fatal? I have to wonder where peoples' heads are at. Anti-vaccination people seem to be cropping up more on Catholic boards.

Item the third: Being gay is not a sin. The USCCB even say so, although the types who are squicked out by homosexuality would ignore the bishops. (Funny how both extremes in Catholicism pick and choose just as much as they claim the other side does?) Methinks they doth protest?

Item the fourth: Politics. Yeah, not going there. Funny how those who attack the Democrats never seem to remember how the Republicans are for torture. Like I said. Not going there. People like William and Liam have said what I'd want to say, anyway, but with less profanity.

Someone please tell me this is an American Catholic thing I'm noticing. Because if it's the entire Church with these attitudes, then we're screwed.

And so I don't end on a downer, new NIN album out. This one's on Reznor, too. It's pretty good, although I absolutely fell in love with Ghosts I-IV. I hope more bands adopt this model of distribution, since it seems like it's produced a surge in creativity for people like NIN. While Ghosts I-IV was more abstract, The Slip is more rock.

Now why don't they talk about Doctor Who at my parish? Hell, I'd settle for discussions of morality and religion in Battlestar Galactica (new series). I don't really see the Doctor as a Christ-like figure. More like St. Michael, for me.

I had to turn off the news tonight.

More stories about the Democrats making their party implode, the food crisis, the housing crisis, recession, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Somalia, Zimbabwe. So then I decide to go get a burger and check my mail. (I have a PO box. Just makes sense with as much traveling as I do.)

Somehow I got on the mailing list for a bunch of conservative Catholic groups, some barely in communion with Rome and others I wish weren't. (Sorry, folks, I've got a reboot of the ovarian operating system happening, and I'm a bit thin on charity today, for reasons that will become apparent.) Today's junkmail offering was from the Human Life International group.

On the surface they seemed decent. But if you look in their mission statement, they're Yet Another Catholic Group that doesn't see any other social issue beyond the gonads. They're against birth control and abortion, obviously, but also sex education. Come on, people. Quit giving people who think the RCC is only about the repression of sex any more ammunition. I was also invited to sign and send back the Humanae Vitae Pledge with my donation.

Now, I'm cranky at these people because I'm on the Pill, and there isn't a month that doesn't go by that I don't thank my Maker for giving the people who developed it the knowledge to do so. It allows me to lead a normal life, otherwise I'd be laid up in bed for two weeks out of every month. Yes, I've discussed it with my doctor (a naturopath, by the way), and it's the cheapest, safest, and easiest alternative. Now, this use of the Pill is allowed for under the encyclical Humanae Vitae. (Yes, I've read it. I totally agree with most of it.)

Yet you wouldn't believe the people who suggest I should either "offer it up," use natural alternatives, or just use NFP. Well, last I checked, NFP doesn't do squat when the red army is on the march. Why are people so dismissive of women's health? There are medicines that impact a man's fertility and abilities (shall we say), yet I never hear them get the same kind of grief a woman gets for being on medication that affects her fertility.

I think all of this is really a big sign of a larger issue. Why are we dismissive of women? It seems like there is a part of the Church that still dismisses their gifts and abilities. (And so the Pope noted in this article at Whispers in the Loggia. It's well-worth a read, and it's what convinced me that Benedict wasn't so bad, after all.) I'd like to posit that it's political, at least in this country, an influence of the "Jesus Camp" types who're rampant in the government.

I'd also like to posit that the "culture of death" isn't so much about couples contracepting, but people looking for the easiest possible thing to latch onto. Being pro-life is messy. It asserts that the life of the homeless guy who defecated in your bushes is just as sacred as a cute baby, the person on Death Row, or the Iraqis we bombed last week.

Still working on the post about Torchwood, Doctor Who, and reconciliation. I'm kind of dragging my feet on it, since I want to see how season 4/30 plays out.

So awhile ago I wrote a post in response to some nasty criticism of the show, Doctor Who, on the Daily Breakfast podcast. (I used to listen to said podcast religiously, but just got out of the habit.) The podcast link in the original post got changed when they changed their database. The correct link to the response in the podcast that provoked my rant on Doctor Who and Catholic social justice is here.

Now there will be spoilers. If you aren't current on Doctor Who to the episode that aired yesterday ("Planet of the Ood") or last season and you don't want things spoiled, you really don't want to read any further.

Still here? Sure? There are gonna be spoilers. Big ones.

Last chance.

I mean it.

So. The criticism was that it wasn't a good "family" show because of a five second kiss between Captain Jack and the Doctor. Now, this was the most unsexy kiss ever in the franchise. The characters were, in all likelihood, going to their deaths at the tentacles of daleks. If you want sexy kisses, go watch Torchwood.

Time after time (pardon the pun), there are strong pro-life themes in Doctor Who, and I'm not just talking about what passes as "pro-life" in some circles. For instance, in the weakest of the episodes in season 3, the Doctor offers to help save the daleks at the end of "Evolution of the Daleks," a race that almost wiped out his. Then at the end of "Partners in Crime," the Doctor makes the statement about the alien Adipose children that they're just kids and can't help where they come from. (They come from people's fat and were harvested off of humans.) In "Planet of the Ood," the Doctor and Donna (who I think seriously rocks as a companion) save a race from slavery (the Ood's situation echoing the Holocaust or Exodus--ironic, since it aired yesterday, during Passover.) Not to mention in the same episode a line by the Doctor snarking at humans in our century for the use of slave labor in clothing. (At which Donna snarks back, asking if he takes humans along to feel morally superior. She injects a lot of humility into the show.)

And did I mention the fact that an ongoing theme of the series is that violence never solves anything? The times when violence is used, it backfires miserably at the Doctor. ("Resurrection of the Daleks" or the ongoing story arc relating to the destruction of his planet at the end of the Time War.) And if Doctor Who isn't a good family show, then I guess it doesn't matter that the Doctor defeats the Master (a long-term nemesis from the Jon Pertwee years) by forgiving him.

The times in which someone dies, or someone gets punished, it's usually because there's no other alternative. The Family in "Human Nature" gets punished in such a way that they can't ever harm others. The Racnoss were offered a chance to live somewhere else peacefully, but brought destruction upon themselves (see also violence causing violence.) In every case I can think of since the series restarted in 2005, the Doctor either gives the bad guys a chance to leave or he offers to help them.

(As an aside, I subscribe to the view of the Time Lords in the Big Finish Audios: they aren't corrupt bureaucrats, but more evolved beings, who're a lot like Tolkien's elves: world-weary and just want to be left alone by lesser-evolved races. In the Big Finish Audios, they're mostly peaceful, do hold life to be sacred, but also are forced into making extremely difficult decisions--even at the sacrifice of their own lives--to keep time lines intact.)

My sci-fi heroes uphold Catholic social justice. How cool is that? (I'd love to see an episode with Dorothy Day or Pierre Teilhard de Chardin--would be a good excuse to have a period episode in 1920's China. I think an encounter with the Doctor would explain a lot of the trippiness and cosmic orientation of a lot of Teilhard's writings.)

if you don't listen already, Radio Boston is doing a great special on the Boston Archdiocese, and it's really well done. You can find the show here.

The podcast isn't up yet, but all the podcasts are linked off of WBUR's site. It's way more balanced than I thought it was going to be.

So I got tagged for the "your life in six words" meme. Right now I'd have to say it's "Ugly code makes Baby Jesus cry." For instance:

a1      granule p4*k1,p5,p6,p7,p8,p9,p10,p11,p12,p13,p14,p15,\
     p16,p17,p18,p19,p20,p21,p22,p23,p24

What we have here is a mess. It's the code for a csound unit generator straight out of the manual. Look intelligible? Good! It does to me, too. Now if I were looking at that code, I'd have absolutely no clue what any of the various parameters are. The "a1" is a specific instance of that unit generator. (Csound isn't really object-oriented, nor is it functional.) Granule is the name of the unit generator (pretend it's like a function), and all the bloody p-things after it are p-fields, or specific parameters that unit generator needs. (Those are set in the score file, when the actual instrument you build in the orchestra file is called.)

Now, for the sake of the Poor Souls in Purgatory, you don't have to leave your p-fields looking like that. It's largely preferable if you don't. I mean, think what it would be like, if you wrote that instrument one year, put it aside, and then came back to it years later. Or, God forbid, someone else would have to do something with it.

So here's another snippet of csound orchestra file, this time written by my chair. (Email me if you want a link to the original. It's about as elegantly-written as csound can be.)

;  fm portion

;  ratio sweep
if iratdif == 0 goto noratiomod

 kratio oscil   iratdif, iratcps, iratfn
 kratio = kratio + iratio2

 kcpsmod = icpscar*kratio   ; ratio is M/C 
 krange = abs(idif * kcpsmod)
 kdev = abs(ifmi1 * kcpsmod)

 ; fm

 kampmod oscil1 0, krange + kdev, idur, idevfunc
 amodout oscil kampmod, kcpsmod * aglfac, 1
 goto aftermod

Now, this is legible, if a lot more complex than the other example. Everything is insanely well documented, all p-fields are assigned to variables (except a few that are csound idioms, so to speak.) He's doing some fairly complicated things, but everything is defined (even the p-fields which are just csound convention: p1 is always instrument number, p2 is always start time, p3 is duration, p4 amp, and so on.) Sure, you'd have to know how fm synthesis works, but it's legible. It's got comments, and things are clearly defined. The mind boggles.

Group hug^H^Hblog?

OK, so the issue was raised about some sort of group blog. I think it's an interesting idea, so I'm opening up this post to discuss it.

1.) I think the weekly theme thing is a good idea. (Monthly?)

2.) Deadlines might be hard, when two of us are grad students.

3.) How do we keep content coming? Signups? We could get some sort of calendar set up with the google mail we'd need for it. If people volunteer to write something, then the grad students would be able to adjust for when our lives aren't so busy.

4.) What about haloscan for comments? I personally like it, and one is able to ban according to a range or by specific IP. (Which is logged every time someone makes a comment.) There's also Jeff's IP blocking code, which I think is a necessity, given some of the bloggers out there.

5.) What about divisive subjects? I don't think I'd mind seeing the occasional post on such things, but--as a big for instance--certain subjects seem to dominate the blogging world already (sex, NFP, abortion). If there could be an interesting take on the subjects, I wouldn't mind it, but all too often, it becomes a rehash of something that we've all read before.

6.) What about non-Catholic bloggers? There are a number I'm thinking of, who might have really interesting things to say (Rev. Mommy, Sandalstraps, etc.)

7.) What would differentiate our blog from our personal blogs? The best blogs I've seen--especially group ones--are those that have some sort of theme.

You can't go home again...

So I opened up my CalArts email the other day, to find a notice from the alumni organization that the music department landed a grant that exceeds $125 million and will start a DMA program, although limited in scope. While I'm elated for them, it wasn't helping my out-of-sort-ness as of late. (I get SAD...but it tends to hit when the days start getting longer.)

And then I find another blog post about how the music critic, Alan Rich, has been ousted from the LA Weekly. He's a fixture. While I may not have always agreed with his writings, I can't deny that he'd been on the LA music scene for longer than anyone. Having him in the audience, when a piece was being performed could either be a godsend or a curse, but you were guaranteed to get a review, not a bunch of platitudes. That's not to say that he wasn't opinionated against certain genres--minimalism and modernist composers, except for a select few. But you rarely find such brutal honesty--even if it hurts--in modern critics.

I was playing in a concert in which he booed the work. On the one hand, it really hurt. On the other...it was nice to have my opinions about the piece validated. (That having been said, it was the same night that I almost ripped a tendon in my arm, so my opinion of Robert Ashley's music is biased.) If you want to read Rich's review of that concert, it's here.

food for thought...

New office person brought up the point that she thought music was a forgiving art, in that it led to reconciliation between people. Need to think about that some, but didn't want to forget it.

Inspired by Jeff's post on Bob Marley and how his kids will come up with alternate lyrics, I bring you alternate lyrics for Orff's setting of "O Fortuna." If you're offended by pictures of codpieces, women in sparkly bras, and general weirdness, don't click. But as a recovering orchestral musician, I loved it. It's almost as good as the video I posted of the Pachelbel canon done by Korean gayageum, beatbox, and breakdancers.

Just heard that the Frood's grandmother died a few minutes ago. Glad her suffering's over. While I've never been a huge devotee of the Divine Mercy devotion, I can't help but wonder at the coincidence that she died on the eve of Divine Mercy Sunday.

Is ecumenical dialogue possible? That's kind of the implication of RLP's post. (Yes, I'm still steamed about it.)

On the one hand, there are things we share. But on the other hand, if we can't even agree about what creed we recite, how can we discuss anything? For instance, some non-denominational Protestants feel that they're going back to a more authentic mode of Christianity. When we hear that, we think they're joining RCIA. We think that the Church was established through Peter and that the Pope is heir to this. They don't. They think salvation is something you can choose based upon a condition of accepting Jesus. We think it's entirely up to God, and the whole notion of accepting Christ is moot, since why would you call yourself a Christian, if you didn't believe in Christ? They think personal relationships with God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit is important and an important facet of worship. We think that such things are important, but that worship is entirely corporate--when it's time for Mass, private revelation doesn't factor into it and shouldn't, since the highest form of communion is the Eucharist.

And so on. I mean, look at the issue that's inter-denominational communion. Personally I don't have a problem with a Protestant who, reverently, receives the Eucharist, so long as they accept what we believe it to be. I don't know that he/she didn't need that grace. I do, however, have a problem with those who receive in our Church because they think they have a right to, and essentially turn the Eucharist into a political football. Why should they have a right to sacraments, to which we don't have a right? As we say in the liturgy, "Lord I am not worthy to receive You..."

I think if there's to be any true ecumenical dialogue, then it must account for differences as well as similarities. Self-loathing is not ecumenicism. I love my Church. If I didn't, do you think I'd stick around throughout all the post-Vatican II crap? It's pretty insulting to both parties to say that we're all the same because there are things within each of our denominations that make our traditions (note the lower-case "t") unique and rich. For instance, I'd get grief from my stepfather's family for not going to their worship services, because they insisted that it was all the same. Well, no, it isn't. I'm not going to Mass because I'm too good for theirs (Yes, this accusation was leveled at me), I'm going because this liturgy represents the fullness of Truth as I'm able to see it.

"I'm not anti-Catholic. I have Catholic friends."

Doesn't that sound a lot like, "I'm not racist! I have black friends!" Or how about when someone says something offensive to Catholics, but then insists they didn't mean it? Sounds like when somebody drops the n-word, doesn't it? Now I'll admit that nobody is getting lynched or harmed for being Catholic (at least in this century), but I don't think that Protestants (especially low-church Protestants) in this country realize how deeply set their anti-Catholic bias really is. This post is for those in that thread and the "apology" to that one, in which those who took offense to RLP's post are called "spiritually immature."

Once upon a time, thirteen colonies were established in the United States. In a lot of these colonies, it was illegal to be Catholic. In 1647, Jesuits were barred from entering Massachusetts under pain of death. It wasn't until the late 18th century that a priest could come into Massachusetts without worrying about being martyred.

Fast forward to the 19th century. There are waves of immigrants fleeing Europe from famine (my Irish relatives, for instance), revolution (my German and Bohemian relatives), and the chance for a better life (my Italian relatives). A lot of these immigrants are Catholic (my Irish and Italian family.) And guess what? Anti-Catholicism rears its head. From something as benign as "Catholics need not apply" to all-out terror from the KKK.

You know what? You still get anti-Catholicism today. Now, I'm not talking about crap the likes of which Bill Donohue flies off the handle at. I've had to listen to my colleagues at my university opine about how stupid Catholics are, how we're all sexual deviants, and how our clergy are all abusers. The people who would tell a Catholic joke these days are those who would balk at a similar joke about a particular ethnic group. I've had to put up with jabs about my faith from my non-Catholic family, from my fiancé's family, and from just about everywhere else.

So you find a post like RLP's, in which he portrays the current Pope as some stupid vegetable, complete with faux Latin, it's coming from a very long line of shit you've had to face almost every day of your life. Lord knows I don't agree with every word the Pope says (contrary to popular belief, we're allowed to do this, and not everything the Pope says has equal weight.) But I can't deny that 1.) he's the Vicar of Christ and the successor to Peter, 2.) the guy is frigging brilliant (has been a professor, speaks six languages or so fluently, has written numerous theological works, and has the chops to be a concert pianist.) and 3.) has actually been outspoken on the exact issue that RLP is accusing him of.

Newsflash: the Pope baptizes people publicly at Easter every damn year. And, if you think this was a conversion at gunpoint, at least read what the person in question had to say about it. The person also had a personal relationship with the Pope. I can't think of anything more beautiful than to receive the sacraments of initiation from someone who's been instrumental in your faith development.

You know what? I'm tired of having to school people on anti-Catholic bias. Go ahead, say what you want. You'll only make yourself look worse.

You know you're a geek when...

...you're watching "The Ten Commandments" and think that Yul Brynner is a Goa'uld System Lord.

Have a blessed Easter!

Okay. All you music people who read this? And other not-so-musical people? Go check out Nine Inch Nail's Ghosts I-IV. It's released under the Creative Commons license, so torrents of it are fully legal, or you can pay $5 for it via their website. Hell, Reznor, himself, put up a torrent of it.

Are you downloading it? No? I'll wait until you're done.

It's absolutely stunning. (All instrumental, similar to the kinds of stuff I do with computer music.) Seriously it's going to be the best five bucks you've ever spent. It's music like this, which makes me wake up in the morning, swear at NPR, then thank my Maker that I'm a composer. The second track, I think, I'd recommend to any student who wants to learn about pacing and musical time.

Now is such a cool time to be alive, if you're a composer. Sure, there aren't the grants and public support for the arts that there was 20 years ago, but we have sole control over the distribution of our works. Got a computer? Got a Kinko's? You can typeset and publish your own music. Got bandwith? Put up a torrent of your works. No more waiting around for publishing and recording contracts that aren't coming. Even CD production is cheap. Anyone can make a master, and finding some place to press a run isn't hard. Sure, it means hitting the pavement and getting it out there, but it also means not being enslaved to Sony, ECM, BMI, or the RIAA.

Bunch of scattered thoughts this morning.

1.) On the Obama/race issue, I've been mostly silent. I'm trying to stay out of the political mess because I know come November I'm going to be pissed off at the whole process. (Especially if the Republicans are trying to force Catholics to vote for them again like they did in 2000.) The other issue is that as a white female, I have a certain kind of privilege, and it feels hypocritical to talk about race, when I've never had an issue with it. Gender bias, sure. But I can't help but acknowledge that my skin tone has helped me. Now's the time when I shut up and listen.

2.) (And I'm sure everyone knows to whom I'm referring...) Why do people think that just because they can post a comment that their opinion must be welcomed, when said opinion is hateful, offensive, and only designed to stir crap? I know trolls have always been with us, but lately it seems some are off their meds. (and here's where I thank Jeff for his IP banning code.)

3.) Anyone know anything about making millefiori beads? Especially out of polymer clay? I found a recipe for rose petal beads that uses translucent sculpey and dried rose petals, which I thought looked better than the traditional barf-on-a-string, and then I learned that one can do some really nifty things with polymer clays. I'm always looking for interesting things to do for my rosary making habit. Part of my philosophy is that one doesn't need to spend hundreds of dollars on a rosary.

4.) Silly poll up about chocolate rabbit habits.

This post has been brought to you courtesy of jasmine tea and theraflu. Keeping Martian Death Flu at bay since 1984.

1.) Didn't make it to Mass today. I'm doing better, but for some reason today around 4, I couldn't stay awake, was all feverish, and my body got this message: "Broadcast message from root (pts/0) (Sun March 16 16:11:43 2008): The human is going down for system halt NOW!"

At first I was guilty about it, and how I've slacked off on the Divine Office since getting sick. But, you know, taking care of myself is a discipline, and right now I need sleep, tea, theraflu, and Doctor Who.

2.) Paper's done. I just realized that the last so many games I've written about I've played in linux, either natively or with wine. I'm thinking about checking out cedega once I get some disposable income. Would be nice if I could deep six my windows partition. Unfortunately some of the notation software I use only runs in windows.

3.) Went to a hockey game the other day. Was fun, and I think I'd definitely go again. Bit Jerry Springer the way fights break out, though. (Was a Seattle-Portland game, so apparently there's quite a bit of rivalry.) Probably shouldn't have gone with the flu, but it was good to get out of the house. The players are all around 15-22 in this league, so they made me feel like a dirty old woman. Maybe if I can appreciate hockey, I can get into soccer?

If you knit and hang out online, you're probably aware of David Demchuk, since he writes a column for knitty.com. It's from one of his columns that I got the sage advice I give to my single (male) friends, when they ask me about dating women: learn to knit.

Today's post from him, though, is dead serious and everyone should read it. It's about the Oklahoma representative's video that's been making the rounds. There's a rebuttal to it posted that's moving and partially restores one's faith in humanity.

Caveat that I'm cranky from writing this paper and being sick, but when people say crap like, "I support women 100%, but I don't want to see them as lectors/altar servers/cantors," I want to scream. No, it means that they only want to see women in certain socially prescribed areas that correspond to their own (dare I say sexist?) view.

You know, I try to do my job as a server as reverently and prayerfully as possible (given the average amount of chaos that surrounds most liturgies). When people say (never to my face) about how I'm killing some vocation, I also want to scream. I think if I were to have children, I'd be strongly encouraging them to be servers, too. And if they had a vocation? I'd be the first to support them.

Grad students: we make procrastination into an artform.

Along with consumer culture holding back video games, I think the inability to see them as anything other than frivolous is hurting the genre. Case in point? This game. More on it from DS Fanboy here and here. The DS Fanboy links have some screenshots. (Nothing graphic, although moving.)

Now if it were anything else--a film or a book--nobody would balk. But because it's a game--which is supposedly a child's reaction to the horrors of the Holocaust--people freak out. And the game is still in development. All Nintendo really did is say "Huh, we don't know anything about this." Nintendo's pretty close-mouthed about things in production, and there are more game publishers out there beyond Nintendo. (I have a feeling if the game does get released over here, some little house like Altus would pick it up, because they take risks on all kinds of games that nobody else will touch.)

I wonder if Luc Bernard needs beta testers...although if I get into its beta, then it *will* suck, because I seem to be completely unable to beta test a game that doesn't righteously suck. One of these days I'm going to say "screw it" to the NDAs I've signed and blog about all the suck I've tested.