Care and Feeding of Your Catholic, part 4, Myths and urban legends

Welcome back to part 4 of "Care and Feeding of Your Catholic!" Sorry for the hiatus, but today's episode deals with urban legends. With something as old and byzantine as the Catholic Church, there are bound to be odd superstitions and urban legends. Here's a few I've heard over the years:

1.) Catholics are forbidden to read the Bible. False. They weren't encouraged to before Vatican II in some circles, but we've had translations into Latin (St. Jerome, his vernacular for the time) and the vernacular (Douay-Rheims, New American, New Jerusalem, etc), like everyone else. We do have more books than the Protestant churches, so neener.

2.) The Immaculate Conception refers to Jesus. Nope. That would be Mary, who was conceived without original sin. (A priest at my parish likes to refer to the feast of the Immaculate Conception as "the feast of the Immaculate Confusion.")

3.) We pray to saints. Nope. We ask them for prayers. You ask your friends and family to pray for you? We do, too. It's just that we don't think their intercession ends at death. Relics: do you keep pictures or hairs from people you love? Same thing.

4.) We worship Mary. Well...It depends on how you define "worship." (See also the difference between doulia--honor paid to the saints--and latria--worship of God.)

5.) We're cannibals. Not really. Look, the Eucharist is pure Aristotle. A thing can retain its accident and still be completely different in essence. If you burn the heck out of toast, it's still toast, but burnt. If you forget that you're supposed to be an EM and take antihistamines before Mass (since medicine is allowed for the Eucharistic fast), and then have to finish off a cup of consecrated wine, odds are you'll experience the accident of the wine, even though its essence is different.

6.) *insert conspiracy theory here* I'd tell you, but then the people in black helicopters would have to find you.

7.) The pope is always infallible. Newp. It's only within very specific situations that a papal writing or teaching is infallible, and that has to do with faith and morals and must specifically be stated to be infallible. It's not as easy as it seems, and it's not used often. Conversely not everything the pope says or writes is the same weight. For instance, if he were to write a book, it doesn't have the same weight as an encyclical, an apostolic letter, etc. As we well know with our current pope, it's easy to say something and have it taken wrong. If something official comes out, odds are it has had a lengthy drafting and revision process. And that's just encyclicals. Something more important would have a much longer draft/revision time. (see also the new translation of the Mass or the recent motu proprio.)

8.) The pope doesn't sin. Newp. He has to go to confession, like the rest of us.

9.) Priests hate women. I haven't personally met any, but I'm sure they exist. They're as diverse a population as the rest of us. Older generations tend to be more standoffish. Once I was an altar server for an older (visiting) priest. He didn't say much to me getting ready, and I try to give them their space beforehand. (So they've got time to pray, deal with nerves, or whatever.) So after the recessional at the end of Mass, he turned to me, thanked me and said how wonderful it was that "young people" were involved in the Liturgy. (I was thrilled to be called young at 30.) So you meet all types.

10.) Catholics can buy their way to heaven. Nope. We've got to rely upon God's grace and mercy like everyone else. Plenary indulgences--those which remove all temporal punishment of sin (not the sin itself) up to the time of the indulgence--are actually rare and difficult to do. (Try remaining in a state of non-attachment to sin, even venal sins sometime.)

Care and Feeding of Your Catholic, part 5, "mixed" relationships.

OK. This one's a bit more pragmatic. Nothing special, just a few tidbits I've gleaned over 8 years of life with the Hoopy Frood. Feel free to add, reject, or correct. Seems like the issue of "mixed" relationships--that is, a relationship with a person who's not Catholic--keeps coming up in various forms, blogs, and forums.

1.) Rule #1: The only person you can change is yourself.

2.) Rule #2: Your relationship isn't a zero-sum game.

3.) Golden Rule in all things.

Really, that's all there is to it. The times religion's been an issue, someone broke one of the three rules. (In any issue, I might add, not just religion.)

I mean, look, it's not theoretical physics. One of the common things I see come up is converting one's spouse. If one's spouse wants to convert, that's one thing. If they don't, forcing the issue isn't going to do anyone any good. Would you want your spouse to try to convert you to their religion? No? Then why do it to him/her? And as to sneaking green scapulars into your SO's stuff, is that really building trust? Would you want your SO sneaking their religious items into your things to make you convert? You can respect a person's beliefs without agreeing to them, and such tactics don't overly seem respectful.

The rest, really, is just details. What I've found works for us is a common ground, some area we can agree on. (In anything, again, not just religion.) Lord knows we've had our squabbles, but also one pig-headed statement doesn't merit another. ("Get bent," is not appropriate apologetics, for instance.) And really, if a couple disagrees, it means they disagree. It doesn't mean they love each other less, which I think some newer couples seem to equate disagreement with.

The other big source of discord has been a lack of knowledge or understanding. For instance I have a horrible habit of ripping on evangelicals. I really do try to be nice, but their beliefs are the opposite of mine. Their emphasis upon their take on Christianity as being the only way (in some cases) really grates on my nerves, especially since some of them think they're closer to "authentic" Christianity. Some of my in-laws are evangelical Christians, and I know I've said some unkind things that hurt the Frood, even though I wasn't specifically talking about his family and he's neither Christian, nor evangelical.

Conversely, I've had to sit through some rather uncomfortable moments, one in particular where it was said that all people born into a denomination aren't strong in their faith, when I've been a Catholic since birth. To me it feels like they rub their faith in other peoples' faces. To them, it's as if I'm not "on fire." I"m a contemplative--I need silence in my worship, where they have no problem with pop and more "boisterous" worship. They see ritual as dead, where I see it as a sign of the universal Church and something transcendent. It's funny that the Hoopy Frood and I aren't even the same religion, yet we agree on more in things spiritual than between his family and I, and we're all Christian.

So I guess the bottom line is love your SO, keep a sense of humor about it all, and be prepared to pass the ketchup or apologize, when one of you puts your foot in your mouth.

CFOYC, part 3, salvation, other religions, and getting along with the natives

If there's something that the non-Catholics are wondering about Catholics, but are afraid to ask, fire away, with the caveats on topics from last time. If I don't know, there are a bunch of people reading this who would.

Meh. I had a nicely glib and upbeat version of this one started. The Catholic notion of salvation is one of the big reasons why I'm a practicing Catholic. I read Nostra aetate in college, anticipating hating it, since I grew up with the pre-Vatican II version of relations with other denominations. What's in it is truly Good News--salvation is something that's revealed through truths in many other religions and denominations. And those who through no fault of their own who aren't even Christian can be saved through the justification of grace (which is a free gift from God), and a desire to lead a moral life, free from sin. The real documents of Vatican II--as opposed to things in the spirit of--are truly wonderful and upbeat. The optimism and hope in them is one of the most uplifting things I've ever experienced.

Obviously I believe the RCC is true. If I didn't, I wouldn't be Catholic. For me, it represents the fullness of Truth, insofar as we're able to perceive it in this life. Other people find their Truth with a capital "t" in other places. If my path is true for me, and yours is true for you, maybe we're seeing little pieces of something bigger than either of us. I like the fact that Catholic theology allows for this, and at the heart of the matter, salvation and who God decides to give that grace to is a complete gift and mystery. Asking a Catholic if they're saved will probably get you a puzzled look in response. The right answer is, "I don't know!" or "God only knows." There's no positive assurance, but there's hope in God's limitless mercy. This is stuff that keeps me coming back, Sunday after Sunday through all the bullcrap people like to sling at each other in the name of orthodoxy.

So why am I emo tonight? Fast forward to present day. In this country, we've got two sides, both becoming more and more entrenched. On one side, we've got fundamentalist evangelicals--the "Jesus Camp" types--who believe they're right, come hell or high water, and all must accept their take on Christianity to be saved. On the other side, you've got the EWTN types, who I think are a direct response to the fundamentalist Protestant hegemony. Their response to the fundamentalist Protestants is to become more Catholic than Rome. Or, rather, to foist their view of Catholicism upon the rest of us. And since they've got money and mass media outlets, they become the status quo. (Watch their daily Mass sometime...the message they're portraying is slick.)

Thing is, if all of Christianity suddenly became non-denominational Protestant megachurch or Catholic, I think the world would be a poorer place. You wouldn't have the Orthodox, with their ornate liturgies and icons. You wouldn't have the Lutherans' four-part hymns and middle-America sensibility. Forget the Methodists' social justice and quasi-Anglican ways. And even though evangelicals can piss me off, Christianity would be missing something if they were gone.

The RCC has always been about unity in diversity. I wonder if Christianity as a whole can learn from this, instead of the zero-sum game it seems so hell bent on playing.

CFoYC, part 2, the sacraments

So as mentioned in the comments on the last one, there's a wide variation of what's done on Fridays during the year and during Lent. Consult your local bishop for details, since it seems to go by bishop and by country. We're required to abstain on Fridays during the year and Lent. We're also encouraged to fast on Fridays during Lent (but not required.) Also N.B., I'm not discussing sex, homosexuality, abortion, or birth control here. They've been talked to death; they always lead to arguments; and they're not very interesting.

Welcome back to "Care and Feeding of Your Catholic!" This installment is a whirlwind tour through life as a Catholic: the sacraments, or how to get hatched, matched, and dispatched.

1.) A sacrament is an outward sign of an inner grace given by Christ for our salvation. We've got seven: baptism, reconciliation, communion, confirmation, marriage, holy orders, and the anointing of the sick. Your Catholic will most probably have received four of them, possibly five.

2.) Baptism: this is how a Catholic enters the Church. Generally this is done shortly after birth, and it's necessary for all other sacraments. It's also to free the person from sin. It's also a promise from the community to support the person in their faith. Some parishes are doing baptisms during Masses, others do them at special Masses. For the most part, the "ordinary" ministers of baptism are priests and bishops, although in a pinch anyone can, so long as he/she has the right intentions and baptizes the person using the Trinitarian formula. (I was baptized immediately after birth, for instance, by a nurse in the hospital.)

3.) There's also a baptism of desire--a person wishes to be baptized, but dies before it happens, or a baptism of blood--namely martyrdom. It's preferable to enroll someone in RCIA, rather than killing them.

4.) Reconciliation: (used to be called confession when I was in CCD) confession of sins. It doesn't take away the effects of it, but is to help lessen the consequence. Catholics are required to confess all mortal sins once a year at the bare minimum. If you have to think about whether or not you committed a mortal sin, you probably didn't--they take full participation and knowledge.

5.) Catholics have the option of either private (in the booth thingy) or face-to-face. Personally I'm claustrophobic. I like telling people I've never been in a confessional in my life. The priest is also commanded (under pain of instant excommunication) to never divulge that which is told to him in a confession. It's really not as scary as you might think. I've never been berated or made fun of. At the time, I've always heard what I've needed to hear.

6.) The Eucharist. (This is a biggie and will get its own.)

7.) Most Latin-rite Catholics receive the first three sacraments by the time they're 7 years old. If they're Byzantine or come from an Orthodox church, odds are they were baptized, confirmed, and received the Eucharist all at once as an infant. In the Roman rite, babies are anointed after baptism with chrism--the oil also used in confirmation.

8.) Confirmation: this is a fulfillment of one's baptismal promises and a maturation of one's faith. It's always done by the bishop, unless permission is given to a priest. Priests almost always do confirmations on the Easter vigil. Chrism--one of the oils is used. This one is easy to tell apart from the other two, since it smells like balsam. (You have to look closely to tell apart the oil of the infirm and oil of the catechumenate, and hope you grabbed the right jar.) It's becoming rarer, but most Catholics would take another name at their confirmation, some saint they admired or wanted to emulate. (Mine's Hildegard.) Generally a person is confirmed at 11-18. It all depends on when your bishop says people should be confirmed. Confirmation always happens in the context of a Mass.

9.) The sacraments are reversed if one is coming into the Church as an adult: people will be baptized first, then confirmed, then given their first Eucharist, the way it's done in Eastern churches.

10.) Marriage: gettin' hitched. Like all other sacraments, it has an ordinary minister--the couple themselves. The priest and others are just witnesses to the vows. There isn't an extra-ordinary minister. That would be too kinky. Marriage almost always happens at a Mass, but it doesn't have to. (The Hoopy Frood and I probably won't, since I'd be the only one there able to receive Communion. Neither one of us want a huge affair, anyway.)

11.) Holy orders: Ordination. I believe the vows women religious fall under this sacrament, as well, although it's not as clear. (And I'm at work, so I can't double check it.) Bishops are the ordinary ministers for it. If you get a chance to see an ordination or solemn profession, go. They're generally gorgeous affairs with lots of happy people. (Chrism--and lots of it--is used at this one. )

12.) Anointing of the sick: this used to be called last rites, since it was generally only done right before a person died. The ordinary for this is a priest or a bishop. (To my knowledge, there's no extra-ordinary minister.) Generally now it's suggested it's done any time a person's quality of life is negatively impacted--surgery is definitely a time, as is dealing with any serious illness (mental or physical.) It's not meant to cure a person--although miraculous cures have sometimes been reported--but it's meant to give them the strength to deal with their illness. Hopefully the priest or altar server grabbed the right jar--the oil of the infirm. Generally this one's done in private, although there may be special Masses at which it's given.

13.) Of these, baptism, confirmation, marriage, and holy orders are only done once over the course of a person's life. Baptisms by all other denominations except Mormons and Jehova's Witnesses are considered valid. Marriages by other denominations are considered valid, but not sacramental (they need a renewing of vows before a priest to be sacramental.) Holy orders, it depends on if your bishops are part of our apostolic succession.

14.) All other sacraments may be repeated, sometimes daily. If you go to confession daily, your priest may talk to you about scruples. A priest might also wonder if something's up if you ask for the anointing of the sick every day.

15.) A sacramental is not a sacrament. It's an object (generally blessed). Or an action (like blessing one's self with holy water, although the water itself may be a sacramental.) Where sacraments are limited to Catholics, anyone can have/use a sacramental.

CFoYC, part 1, The Basics.

So a discussion got me thinking about how culturally Catholics and evangelicals are a world apart. Thus, I'm beginning a series of posts entitled, "Care and feeding of your Catholic."

So you've got yourself a Catholic in the family! Congratulations! With a little understanding, and liberal feedings of chocolate, you'll probably have a happy Catholic for years to come. This is the first in a series of posts designed to get the most out of your Catholic.

1.) The one thing central to a Catholic's life is the sacrifice of the Mass. Odds are in this country, your Catholic is Roman Catholic, one of 4 rites within the Church. This site does a pretty good job of explaining all of them. Any one church within the Catholic Church will count for one's weekly obligation.

2.) The Mass is a sacrifice. Communion in the Catholic Church is offered daily. Catholics believe in the Real Presence--Christ is fully present in the bread and wine of the Eucharist. This is non-negotiable and dogma (there's actually precious little that's defined as dogma. We'll get to that later.) How exactly it happens is also a mystery.

3.) Your Catholic is obligated to go to Mass on Sunday. Other non-feast days are encouraged. Additionally your Catholic will be obligated to go to Mass on certain feasts, non-Sunday days called Holy Days of Obligation--Jan. 1, the Solemnity of Mary; Thursday of the 6th week of easter--the Ascension; August 15--the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin; November 1--All Saints; December 8--the Immaculate Conception (doesn't refer to Christ...); December 25--Christmas. Now if Jan 1, Ascension, or All Saints falls on a Saturday or a Monday, your Catholic may not be obligated to go to Mass. Also, some bishops may make a solemnity--what these feasts are called--on a Sunday. Confused yet? It all depends on what the bishop decides for the diocese in which your Catholic resides.

4.) The Catholic liturgical day starts the night before. So your Catholic could go to Mass on Saturday night, and it would count. Ditto for the night before any Holy Day of Obligation. These are "vigils" of the feast.

5.) There are only two days your Catholic is obliged to fast and abstain: Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. (These aren't days of obligation, although some Catholics will attend services on them. Good Friday never has a Mass.) A Catholic between the age of 14 and 59 must fast as one's health will allow. The rules for fasting are one meal plus all the fluids a person can drink. Two smaller meals plus one larger are allowed, so long as they don't go over the one meal limit.

6.) Abstinence: no meat, except for amphibians, reptiles, bugs, and fish. (Anything cold-blooded is acceptable, although personally my ass is not going to eat salamander, no matter how much hot sauce is served with it.) Also broth in something is acceptable, if you forget and make something with chicken broth on a Friday. Catholics must abstain on all Fridays of the year, plus Good Friday and Ash Wednesday. (So for the meal, your Catholic can't eat meat.) The Friday abstinence during the year (not during Lent!) may be substituted with something else, if you forget and bust out a pot roast when having your Catholic for dinner.

7.) With fasting and abstinence, common sense applies. Obviously a big smoothie from Jamba Juice is pushing the line on the fluids during a fast day. Sushi is acceptable for a day of abstinence, but it's questionable about the spirit of the law. (Since in this country sushi is a luxury.)

8.) All Catholics are required to fast for an hour before receiving Communion. Only exceptions to this fast are water and medicine. (So don't offer your Catholic breakfast before Mass...afterwards breakfast would be appreciated.)

9.) Your Catholic may make the sign of the Cross before and after a prayer, or anytime the formula "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit" is used. This is done in remembrance of one's baptism (always Trinitarian).

10.) Upon entering a Catholic church, your Catholic will cross him/herself with holy water, conveniently placed at the entrances, or from the baptismal font. Again, this is a remembrance of one's baptism (how one enters the Church). In a non-Catholic church, your Catholic may forget and cross him/herself with water from your baptismal font, anyway, not finding little holders for holy water at the entrance. (Yes, I've done this.) You aren't required to do this, but if you were baptized according to the Trinitarian formula, you're more than welcome to do so.

11.) If you go with your Catholic to Mass, you'll notice that he/she will genuflect before entering a pew or leaving it. This is because the Real Presence--in the consecrated hosts--are reserved in a special container near the altar or to the side of it called the tabernacle. You aren't required to genuflect. A Catholic doesn't genuflect on Good Friday, because the tabernacle is emptied out the night before. If your Catholic goes to your worship service, he/she may forget and genuflect anyway.

12.) Did you offer to take your Catholic to your worship service? If he/she goes, your Catholic will still be obligated to go to Mass that day. It is not a commentary on your worship! Catholics are obligated to attend Mass on Sunday. Why not go with him/her? Or better yet, if you've got one of the funky other rites within the Catholic Church nearby, why not go to one of them? Both of you will be on equal footing.