So Aloysha from Cascadia Catholics forwarded around the following link from the USCCB. It's a study guide from them about torture. Also, this Wednesday and next Wednesday at my parish is a discussion on consequentialism and torture at my parish. I'm going, come hell or high water, on Wednesday, so I'll probably post what I can remember. (I hope they record it.)

Not a slight against anyone, but my link list went the way of the dodo, while I bugfix something.

My blog bookmark list/feed got hosed, so I had to delete it and recreate it. If you don't see me stop by your blog, give me a poke.

I love my friends. One of them just sent me this picture:

Breaking news: Just found this blog. It's starting out, but has the potential to be very, very cool, especially if you're into new music.

And now for something entirely different:



Some highlights: You can see the Pittsburgh goalie scoot the puck into the goal with his behind. I was embarrassed for the guy, honestly. The save by the Detroit goalie in the last 5 seconds of the game was the best save I've ever seen. (Which, given my relative newness to the game isn't much, but it's worth a watch just for that.)

So Sr. Julie over at A Nun's Life mentioned a blog she'd found, Notes from Stillsong Hermitage. Sr. Laurel is a diocesan hermit according to the Camaldolese Benedictine tradition. And reading her blog, I wonder where she was a few years ago. That, and I'm thankful for the internet, because not long ago, she and I probably wouldn't have crossed paths, even virtually.

I'm quickly getting into what Sr. Susan calls the "unbloggables," here, but I found myself nodding along in agreement to just about everything on her blog that I've read, but also this post. I realize that the call to prayer, communion, and witness is something everyone is called to, but it's different. I'm not sure I'm quite able to articulate it, but there's a hole, of sorts, that only God can fill.

No matter what I try to stuff at it, that hole is still there. The community I had at CalArts couldn't do it. My parish can't. Even the Hoopy Frood, who I'd never give up in a zillion years, can't fill it. To expect them to fit that hole is a kind of pride--it sets them up in a role they can't ever fulfill. It demands more out of them that they're humanly able to give.

I think that little life lesson came into clear focus here, during my doctorate. I don't have the same kind of relationships, here, that I had at CalArts. It's nobody's failing--it's just life. The kind of community I had at CalArts is nonexistent here, and I can't look to others for validation of what I do, since part of the process of getting a doctorate is being able to work independently. It's a scary position to be in: on the one hand, it's easy to forget your own failings. On the other hand, it's too easy to focus on every little flaw.

I spent so much time fighting against the solitude I found myself in, but what if this is where I'm supposed to be?

So a few weeks back, a friend gave me a present of two skeins of yarn. I started knitting them up into a scarf-like item. Now when dealing with hand-painted yarns and variegated yarns, they sometimes group themselves into colors, called pooling. While sometimes it can be a cool effect, a lot of the time it isn't. However, I kind of like what the colors are doing on this:



Happy accident, and I hope I'm able to match it up on the second skein.

I tend to keep the memes on my livejournal, but this one's pretty interesting and ongoing for another two days. Every day, you post six pictures that represent your life. Monday and Tuesday were similar, so I didn't take any on Tuesday. Wednesday I was at work, and the rhododendrons were blooming, so there were more. Today I had a field trip to an Asian grocery to make my lunch tomorrow. And so on. It's been an interesting kind of meditation. Here's a few samples.


My church.


My long-suffering mini papyrus plant. I say, "long-suffering," because I forget to water it, and it needs to be kept in standing water.


Rhododendrons for the win. Or: so that's why I'm sneezing.


Taken on the bus to downtown, looking out towards Lake Union from the University Bridge.


That's new to the International District. I like my city.


Space Needle! If you magnify it, you can see it better. Taken from the same bus as before.

If you want to see the rest of them, they're in my album here.

I found two posts, both excellent, written by the mother of a daughter with autism about the Adam Race story. She makes a number of points, ones I hadn't considered not being a parent.

http://simplycatholic.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/about-carol-race-from-someone-who-knows-her/

http://simplycatholic.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/i-cant-discipline-him-out-of-his-autism/

I can't help but feel for the parents, but after reading her blog posts, I think the parish made the right decision, as hard as it was.

Wow, this one's hard. I found this link from a friend on LJ. Briefly, a priest has to get a restraining order on a family at his parish, because the family's autistic son was disruptive and threatening to the other people.

Now, we aren't talking about minor disruptions and stimulating behaviors, here. We're talking about a 6-foot, 225 pound teen pulling a little girl onto his lap, starting other peoples' cars, knocks people over, spits, and urinates. (Who leaves their car keys in their cars? Maybe I've been living in the city too long.) Lest I sound like the evil childfree person, I can't help but feel for the family, as well. I can only imagine what it's like to raise a special-needs child, and they do need a place to worship. Although it does sound like the parish tried to work with the family.

If you were the pastor, what would you do? If you were the family, what would you do?

I don't think I would've done anything differently, were I the pastor. Perhaps if I were the mom, I'd take turns attending Mass, or get someone as a caregiver to watch the son during Mass, because it sounds like the family needs some extra help. (Or perhaps find a lower-key Mass that we could all attend that wouldn't set off my hypothetical son so badly.)

Rare political post from me. This is the definition of pwned.

Sometimes I really dig being Catholic, especially when the Vatican astronomer comes on record saying that aliens wouldn't contradict the faith, and that they'd be as much a part of creation as we are. I also like the comment he made about how original sin may not be an issue for them, but if it is that they'd be included in salvation, as well. As a matter of fact, there's a branch of theology, called exotheology, that deals with the issue of aliens and theology.

These are things I've been thinking about a lot, actually. For instance, do aliens need to be baptized, or is original sin only a human thing? (I could see the Orthodox arguing that original sin is only a human thing.) I tend to think that if they're able to choose between right and wrong, they're able to sin, so they'd need some sort of grace, like the rest of us. (I'd think it would be easier for an alien to convert to Orthodoxy, since they're not as hung up on original sin as Catholics are.)

Here's another one. Suppose a race of aliens has a device (like the chameleon arch in Doctor Who) that would change their biology so that they're human. They'd have no memory of being anything other than human. Assume changed alien as a human finds Jesus and gets him/herself baptized. Then when the alien changes back into an alien, would the baptism be valid? (Assuming proper form.)

You know, Seattle is generally a cool place to live. It doesn't ever get too hot or too cold, but I do get sick of the twentysomething snark, especially out of some psuedo-liberals.

Now, I take the bus. I don't drive, so if I have to get from one place to another and it's too far to walk, I take the bus. And, yeah, sometimes it really sucks. I wonder if Bus Chick isn't either on some serious medication, getting kickbacks from the Metro, or some combination of the two, because she makes it sound like some great, grand social experiment. The buses are often late, overcrowded, or don't show up at all. Chicago and Boston, hell even LA, were better than Seattle. Grocery shopping on a Seattle bus is a nightmare.

On the other hand, this is the kind of thing I'm getting rather tired of. Maybe I'm getting old, but I don't see what's so funny or witty about that kind of post anymore. It's sociopathic in its disregard for humanity. And, yeah, I know all about having to sit near obviously schizophrenic people. You quickly learn what routes to avoid wearing open shoes on, as well.

Is it just me, or is this kind of attitude getting more common?

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Did I wake up and wind up in bizzaro land this morning?

Item the first: Darwin in cahoots with the Nazis. (Did you just yell "GODWIN'S LAW, BEYOTCH?" I sure did.) I think one can be skeptical of a scientific theory--that's what a theory is, after all, but I don't get the certainty by which people push intelligent design. If it's science, then it should be able to withstand the tests and rigors any scientific theory does, something ID supporters decry Darwin has never been subjected to. Since when was it a sign of being a Good Catholic^tm to reject science? I'm hearing this crop up more than I'd like--there was a dig against evolution in a homily this weekend. Since when did a Good Catholic have to be a Jesus Camp follower?

Item the second: vaccination. Did the Vatican come out and say that we shouldn't vaccinate our children when I wasn't looking? OK, I can see their point about chickenpox, flu, and hepatitis vaccines. I can even understand delaying them. But not vaccinating against polio, rubella, and the really horrible diseases that are almost always fatal? I have to wonder where peoples' heads are at. Anti-vaccination people seem to be cropping up more on Catholic boards.

Item the third: Being gay is not a sin. The USCCB even say so, although the types who are squicked out by homosexuality would ignore the bishops. (Funny how both extremes in Catholicism pick and choose just as much as they claim the other side does?) Methinks they doth protest?

Item the fourth: Politics. Yeah, not going there. Funny how those who attack the Democrats never seem to remember how the Republicans are for torture. Like I said. Not going there. People like William and Liam have said what I'd want to say, anyway, but with less profanity.

Someone please tell me this is an American Catholic thing I'm noticing. Because if it's the entire Church with these attitudes, then we're screwed.

And so I don't end on a downer, new NIN album out. This one's on Reznor, too. It's pretty good, although I absolutely fell in love with Ghosts I-IV. I hope more bands adopt this model of distribution, since it seems like it's produced a surge in creativity for people like NIN. While Ghosts I-IV was more abstract, The Slip is more rock.

Now why don't they talk about Doctor Who at my parish? Hell, I'd settle for discussions of morality and religion in Battlestar Galactica (new series). I don't really see the Doctor as a Christ-like figure. More like St. Michael, for me.

I had to turn off the news tonight.

More stories about the Democrats making their party implode, the food crisis, the housing crisis, recession, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Somalia, Zimbabwe. So then I decide to go get a burger and check my mail. (I have a PO box. Just makes sense with as much traveling as I do.)

Somehow I got on the mailing list for a bunch of conservative Catholic groups, some barely in communion with Rome and others I wish weren't. (Sorry, folks, I've got a reboot of the ovarian operating system happening, and I'm a bit thin on charity today, for reasons that will become apparent.) Today's junkmail offering was from the Human Life International group.

On the surface they seemed decent. But if you look in their mission statement, they're Yet Another Catholic Group that doesn't see any other social issue beyond the gonads. They're against birth control and abortion, obviously, but also sex education. Come on, people. Quit giving people who think the RCC is only about the repression of sex any more ammunition. I was also invited to sign and send back the Humanae Vitae Pledge with my donation.

Now, I'm cranky at these people because I'm on the Pill, and there isn't a month that doesn't go by that I don't thank my Maker for giving the people who developed it the knowledge to do so. It allows me to lead a normal life, otherwise I'd be laid up in bed for two weeks out of every month. Yes, I've discussed it with my doctor (a naturopath, by the way), and it's the cheapest, safest, and easiest alternative. Now, this use of the Pill is allowed for under the encyclical Humanae Vitae. (Yes, I've read it. I totally agree with most of it.)

Yet you wouldn't believe the people who suggest I should either "offer it up," use natural alternatives, or just use NFP. Well, last I checked, NFP doesn't do squat when the red army is on the march. Why are people so dismissive of women's health? There are medicines that impact a man's fertility and abilities (shall we say), yet I never hear them get the same kind of grief a woman gets for being on medication that affects her fertility.

I think all of this is really a big sign of a larger issue. Why are we dismissive of women? It seems like there is a part of the Church that still dismisses their gifts and abilities. (And so the Pope noted in this article at Whispers in the Loggia. It's well-worth a read, and it's what convinced me that Benedict wasn't so bad, after all.) I'd like to posit that it's political, at least in this country, an influence of the "Jesus Camp" types who're rampant in the government.

I'd also like to posit that the "culture of death" isn't so much about couples contracepting, but people looking for the easiest possible thing to latch onto. Being pro-life is messy. It asserts that the life of the homeless guy who defecated in your bushes is just as sacred as a cute baby, the person on Death Row, or the Iraqis we bombed last week.

Still working on the post about Torchwood, Doctor Who, and reconciliation. I'm kind of dragging my feet on it, since I want to see how season 4/30 plays out.

So awhile ago I wrote a post in response to some nasty criticism of the show, Doctor Who, on the Daily Breakfast podcast. (I used to listen to said podcast religiously, but just got out of the habit.) The podcast link in the original post got changed when they changed their database. The correct link to the response in the podcast that provoked my rant on Doctor Who and Catholic social justice is here.

Now there will be spoilers. If you aren't current on Doctor Who to the episode that aired yesterday ("Planet of the Ood") or last season and you don't want things spoiled, you really don't want to read any further.

Still here? Sure? There are gonna be spoilers. Big ones.

Last chance.

I mean it.

So. The criticism was that it wasn't a good "family" show because of a five second kiss between Captain Jack and the Doctor. Now, this was the most unsexy kiss ever in the franchise. The characters were, in all likelihood, going to their deaths at the tentacles of daleks. If you want sexy kisses, go watch Torchwood.

Time after time (pardon the pun), there are strong pro-life themes in Doctor Who, and I'm not just talking about what passes as "pro-life" in some circles. For instance, in the weakest of the episodes in season 3, the Doctor offers to help save the daleks at the end of "Evolution of the Daleks," a race that almost wiped out his. Then at the end of "Partners in Crime," the Doctor makes the statement about the alien Adipose children that they're just kids and can't help where they come from. (They come from people's fat and were harvested off of humans.) In "Planet of the Ood," the Doctor and Donna (who I think seriously rocks as a companion) save a race from slavery (the Ood's situation echoing the Holocaust or Exodus--ironic, since it aired yesterday, during Passover.) Not to mention in the same episode a line by the Doctor snarking at humans in our century for the use of slave labor in clothing. (At which Donna snarks back, asking if he takes humans along to feel morally superior. She injects a lot of humility into the show.)

And did I mention the fact that an ongoing theme of the series is that violence never solves anything? The times when violence is used, it backfires miserably at the Doctor. ("Resurrection of the Daleks" or the ongoing story arc relating to the destruction of his planet at the end of the Time War.) And if Doctor Who isn't a good family show, then I guess it doesn't matter that the Doctor defeats the Master (a long-term nemesis from the Jon Pertwee years) by forgiving him.

The times in which someone dies, or someone gets punished, it's usually because there's no other alternative. The Family in "Human Nature" gets punished in such a way that they can't ever harm others. The Racnoss were offered a chance to live somewhere else peacefully, but brought destruction upon themselves (see also violence causing violence.) In every case I can think of since the series restarted in 2005, the Doctor either gives the bad guys a chance to leave or he offers to help them.

(As an aside, I subscribe to the view of the Time Lords in the Big Finish Audios: they aren't corrupt bureaucrats, but more evolved beings, who're a lot like Tolkien's elves: world-weary and just want to be left alone by lesser-evolved races. In the Big Finish Audios, they're mostly peaceful, do hold life to be sacred, but also are forced into making extremely difficult decisions--even at the sacrifice of their own lives--to keep time lines intact.)

My sci-fi heroes uphold Catholic social justice. How cool is that? (I'd love to see an episode with Dorothy Day or Pierre Teilhard de Chardin--would be a good excuse to have a period episode in 1920's China. I think an encounter with the Doctor would explain a lot of the trippiness and cosmic orientation of a lot of Teilhard's writings.)

if you don't listen already, Radio Boston is doing a great special on the Boston Archdiocese, and it's really well done. You can find the show here.

The podcast isn't up yet, but all the podcasts are linked off of WBUR's site. It's way more balanced than I thought it was going to be.

So I got tagged for the "your life in six words" meme. Right now I'd have to say it's "Ugly code makes Baby Jesus cry." For instance:

a1      granule p4*k1,p5,p6,p7,p8,p9,p10,p11,p12,p13,p14,p15,\
     p16,p17,p18,p19,p20,p21,p22,p23,p24

What we have here is a mess. It's the code for a csound unit generator straight out of the manual. Look intelligible? Good! It does to me, too. Now if I were looking at that code, I'd have absolutely no clue what any of the various parameters are. The "a1" is a specific instance of that unit generator. (Csound isn't really object-oriented, nor is it functional.) Granule is the name of the unit generator (pretend it's like a function), and all the bloody p-things after it are p-fields, or specific parameters that unit generator needs. (Those are set in the score file, when the actual instrument you build in the orchestra file is called.)

Now, for the sake of the Poor Souls in Purgatory, you don't have to leave your p-fields looking like that. It's largely preferable if you don't. I mean, think what it would be like, if you wrote that instrument one year, put it aside, and then came back to it years later. Or, God forbid, someone else would have to do something with it.

So here's another snippet of csound orchestra file, this time written by my chair. (Email me if you want a link to the original. It's about as elegantly-written as csound can be.)

;  fm portion

;  ratio sweep
if iratdif == 0 goto noratiomod

 kratio oscil   iratdif, iratcps, iratfn
 kratio = kratio + iratio2

 kcpsmod = icpscar*kratio   ; ratio is M/C 
 krange = abs(idif * kcpsmod)
 kdev = abs(ifmi1 * kcpsmod)

 ; fm

 kampmod oscil1 0, krange + kdev, idur, idevfunc
 amodout oscil kampmod, kcpsmod * aglfac, 1
 goto aftermod

Now, this is legible, if a lot more complex than the other example. Everything is insanely well documented, all p-fields are assigned to variables (except a few that are csound idioms, so to speak.) He's doing some fairly complicated things, but everything is defined (even the p-fields which are just csound convention: p1 is always instrument number, p2 is always start time, p3 is duration, p4 amp, and so on.) Sure, you'd have to know how fm synthesis works, but it's legible. It's got comments, and things are clearly defined. The mind boggles.

Group hug^H^Hblog?

OK, so the issue was raised about some sort of group blog. I think it's an interesting idea, so I'm opening up this post to discuss it.

1.) I think the weekly theme thing is a good idea. (Monthly?)

2.) Deadlines might be hard, when two of us are grad students.

3.) How do we keep content coming? Signups? We could get some sort of calendar set up with the google mail we'd need for it. If people volunteer to write something, then the grad students would be able to adjust for when our lives aren't so busy.

4.) What about haloscan for comments? I personally like it, and one is able to ban according to a range or by specific IP. (Which is logged every time someone makes a comment.) There's also Jeff's IP blocking code, which I think is a necessity, given some of the bloggers out there.

5.) What about divisive subjects? I don't think I'd mind seeing the occasional post on such things, but--as a big for instance--certain subjects seem to dominate the blogging world already (sex, NFP, abortion). If there could be an interesting take on the subjects, I wouldn't mind it, but all too often, it becomes a rehash of something that we've all read before.

6.) What about non-Catholic bloggers? There are a number I'm thinking of, who might have really interesting things to say (Rev. Mommy, Sandalstraps, etc.)

7.) What would differentiate our blog from our personal blogs? The best blogs I've seen--especially group ones--are those that have some sort of theme.